Newscaster Has Diarrhea of the Mouth vs. Newscaster has Diarrhea of the Butt

Plaintiff: There is no tactful way to bounce back from this one

Defendant: Farting so hard that you pass out and knock over the set is not easy to recovering from

Equally awkward?

Woman Embarrassed by Newspaper Article vs. Man Embarrassed by Newspaper Article

Plaintiff: This woman will never be able to break through that glass ceiling

Defendant: This gentleman reputation will never be the same again

Equally awkward?

Unfortunate Football Jerseys vs. Unfortunate Child

Plaintiff: These teammates should think again before sitting next to one another

Defendant: This child has a terrible, and seemingly contradictory, moniker

Equally awkward?

Love Connection vs. Nascar

Plaintiff: A contestant on Love Connection has a rather insensitive last name

Defendant: Race car driver Dick Trickle is having problems

Equally awkward?

Ginger Lurker vs. Dock Lurker

Plaintiff: An odd young ginger chap lurks eerily behind a glamorous celebrity

Defendant: There's a mysterious lurker in the background of this spring break photo

Equally awkward?

Guy Smashed By Baseball Bat vs. Kid With Boner

Plaintiff: This fool doesn't even react as a flying baseball bat bashes his jaw

Defendant: This unfortunate teenager finds himself sporting a hearty erection while wearing bathing shorts

Equally awkward?

Drunken Scamp vs. Orson Welles

Plaintiff: A drunkard stumbling hither and thither through the aisles of a convenience store in an unsuccessful attempt to buy beer

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Defendant: The great film director Orson Welles is shitfaced while filming a commercial for Paul Masson California champagne

Equally awkward?

Saved By The Bell vs. Teen Witch

Plaintiff: Jessie Spano suffers a most embarrassing nervous breakdown after getting hooked on caffeine pills on a very special episode of Saved By The Bell

Defendant: The spontaneous rap battle that breaks out in 1989's Teen Witch

Equally awkward?

Retarded Children vs. Metalhead

Plaintiff: A shop where retarded children can finally feel comfortable as they putter and lurch through the aisles

Defendant: A young man whose every affectation screams "rebel", but whose surroundings scream "adopted"

Equally awkward?

Fitzcarraldo vs. William Riker

Plaintiff: Klaus Kinski lying in a bed listening to opera music while surrounded by curious Amazonian children in the 1982 Werner Herzog film Fitzcarraldo

Defendant: Captain William Thomas Riker of the Starship Enterprise checking out a young crew member's junk during an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation


Equally awkward?